How to Make Quiet and Shy Little Girls to be Poised on Your Wedding Day

There are some children who are too shy when it comes to mingling with other people. This could be one of the concerns of most parents, which sometimes affect their decisions in involving their children on activities. Let us have a quick review on some pediatric matters. According to Erik Erikson’s stages of development, the first four stages would best explain this concern. Flower girls also fall on these stages as they usually range from one to ten years old. With the first stage of development (trust vs mistrust), the children develop fear of the environment if they are unable to develop trust. The second stage however is about autonomy vs shame and doubt, in which the children usually develop confidence. Third stage would explain about initiative and guilt, wherein the children will be involved in social interactions, whilst the fourth stage will focus on industry and inferiority, wherein the emphasis is full social interaction. At this stage, they have also started going to school. With these stages of development, it would at least help parents and young ones to overcome the anxiety felt by these young ones while they are growing up.

As the wedding is fast approaching, how then can we help these young princesses to be confident when the day comes. Here are some tips:

1. Relationship with the Bride

Before the bride hands out the invitation with the names of the little girls written, she should at least communicate with the children and built rapport. She can show photos of flower girls or Disney characters especially if the children are too young. She can also give them dolls, wearing lovely gowns and explain that they will be wearing similar white flower girl dresses during the wedding day. In this way, the children will be used to seeing the bride. Having a good rapport will help the flower girls gain confidence during the wedding day.

2. Playmates/Buddy

The law of attraction: Not all the young members of the bridal party are shy, some have great confidence especially when it comes to discussion of their characters wearing lovely dresses. Hence, allow your child to play with the other young members as normally, these sociable young members will always start the communication and will help to overcome your child’s shyness.

3. Encourage the Child

Parents should encourage the children to join the rehearsals for them to get used of how the environment would look like the following day or the wedding day itself. Whilst having their buddies with them, the experience they will gain from the rehearsal alone will help them gain more self-confidence not only during the grand day but also on their daily activities.

4. Goals and Rewards

As parents, you can also set goals for the little girls and give them rewards after. Setting a goal like asking them to wear their beautiful flower girl dresses, walking down the aisle while throwing the flower petals would do; whilst giving them a reward such as fulfilling their request after the goal is met.


Your wedding could be a great experience and a great help for the children to overcome their anxiety and shyness. Aside from having the bridal party complete, making the wedding day fun and memorable, you have helped your friends and their children. It was twas hitting two birds with a stone. Congratulations and best wishes!