When you’re asked to be someone’s best man in a wedding, you can’t take the request lightly. There are a number of responsibilities and duties that you’ll be asked to fulfill, and you should attempt to satisfy them to the best of your abilities.
Your Responsibilities as Best Man
Traditionally, the role of best man is given to a close friend or relative of the groom. It’s generally a brother, cousin, best friend, or even a father or uncle. And while the best man isn’t responsible for much of the wedding-specific details, it is assumed that he’ll take on duties and details in other areas.
If this is your first time being tasked with the role of best man, you probably have some questions. But at the risk of being foolish or offensive, you don’t want to ask the bride or groom. So here you are – curious and inquisitive. And while every wedding is different – and each bride and groom has their own expectations and desires – here are some of the more traditional responsibilities the best man takes on when he accepts the title.
- Planning a Bachelor Party
Your first responsibility – and arguably the biggest – is to plan a bachelor party for the groom and groomsmen to enjoy. While it may be tempting to put this off until closer to the wedding date, it’s smart to begin planning as soon as possible.
“We like to suggest the earlier the better. Having a sufficient amount of planning time will make the process easier and less stressful for you, and gives the guests plenty of notice to set aside the time and money,” Hollywood Casino of Perryville explains. “Keep in mind, the more eccentric and elaborate you plan to make the party, the more time you should give yourself to organize.”
While all of the groomsmen should be invited, you also need to consider whether there are additional people the groom wants there. If so, it’s perfectly acceptable for them to be extended an invitation as well.
- Giving a Toast
If there’s one thing that makes people nervous, it’s giving a toast. But as the best man, you can’t really escape it. Traditionally, the best man is expected to give a toast at the wedding reception – though these days it often happens at the rehearsal dinner. (If unsure about when you’re expected to give your toast, ask the bride and groom.)
The key to a good toast is to be appropriate and thoughtful. It’s also wise to mix in a little humor – but don’t take too many jabs at the groom. Furthermore, make sure your toast isn’t just about the groom. Even if you don’t know the bride very well, it’s important that you toast to both of them as a collective unit.
- Rallying the Groomsmen
As best man, you’re the general of the troops – and your troops are the groomsmen. The groom shouldn’t have to worry about whether or not people are showing up on time, getting the right suit, remembering to bring the correct socks and shoes, etc. You should adopt the role of leader and keep everyone on track. As best man, you’re the general of the troops—and your troops are the groomsmen. The groom shouldn’t have to worry about whether or not people are showing up on time, getting the right suit, picking personalized groomsmen socks from a company like No Cold Feet, etc. You should adopt the role of leader and keep everyone on track.
- Making Sure the Groom Has Everything
On the day of the wedding, you should come prepared with anything you think the groom could possibly need leading up to the ceremony. Grab a backpack and throw together as many items as you can. This may include toiletries, lip balm, lotion, Tylenol, water, a copy of the day’s itinerary, marriage license, and anything else you think the groom will need.
- Having Fun
At the end of the day, you’re supposed to have fun. This is the biggest and happiest day of your friend’s life, and he wants to know that his best man is enjoying the experience with him. If something bothers you, ignore it. The day isn’t about you.
Don’t Get Stressed Out
The best man shouldn’t be stressed out. If you’re holding a bunch of tension and anxiety, then you’re bound to make the groom nervous as well. Despite the obligations and responsibilities, you should do your best to remain poised. Avoid waiting until the last minute and plan ahead. Come wedding weekend, you’ll be able to sit back and enjoy the festivities.