When any member of my family passes away, it takes a while before I can write an entry about the loss. As I was making plans for a vacation during the last week of May, I decided to board Shadow at my veterinarian's office. She was going on 17 years of age and quite frail. During that week of vacation - 800 miles from home, I get the call that everybody hopes they never receive. Shadow had quit eating and they needed my permission to run tests. Then I received the call that her kidneys were failing but she was receiving fluids and seemed to be responding well. Finally about two hours after arriving home on Sunday evening, my veterinarian called to say Shadow had taken a turn and was dying. I rushed to the office and said my goodbyes.

Then the guilt and second-guessing consumed me. Did I make the right decision to board Shadow? Did the stress from being away from home cause the kidney failure? Reason kept saying it doesn't happen that quickly and her kidneys had started failing much earlier.

I had removed Shadow from an abusive home years ago. If she had remained there, she wouldn't have lived as long as she did. So, I'm comforted by the fact she had a long and safe life in my home.