Heather called last night when we were down the street at a Birthday party. We had a good time down there, but didn't get home until 11 or so, and Heather had called at 8. She left a message that they have NO new info on Joe's condition. They have not been able to get the insurance company to approve for him to take an MRI to see if the cancer is in his brain or his liver. How can they Possibly not have approved it? Are they just hoping he will be so sick by the time they get the diagnosis that they won't have to pay for expensive treatment because they want him to die, as it would be cheaper? That is the only thing that makes any sick sense. Treatment can be long, arduous and costly. I am going to call and tell them to call their insurance commissioner in Fla, and get them involved in the situation.

Last night I had an emotional breakdown. When I realized I missed Heather's call, and the insurance company is giving them a runaround, I felt physically sick. I sat on the sofa, in the dark, with Amber, and cried for a half an hour. It is the deepest sobbing I can remember in many, many years, probably back to when my dad, an Atlanta policeman, died when I was 19 years old. He was only 42, younger than I am now. Joe is only 34. If there was Any way that I could Trade with Joe, and let me have it instead, I would. I prayed to God, in his Wisdom, to switch us. I would do Anything to make my little girl happy. I have had dreams lately of Heather losing Joe. They are so real, so sad. So Desperately, heart-wrenchingly, Sad. I just don't want to see her and Joe go through this. I have done many of the things I hoped to do in my life, been to wonderful vacation spots, loved my husband for 30 plus years, had two lovely children. I could switch...if it was God's plan for me, I would willingly take it on.