What if iguanas ruled the world? an iguana's perspective;
A typical newspaper article, might read like this,
Humans in captivity... Human beings, are rapidly becoming a most popular pet. Remarkably interesting, they walk on just 2 legs! Not all humans do well in captivity, and not all humans make good pets. Humans rarely bite their owners.
When selecting your pet, avoid any who appear unhealthy or weak. Rescue a sick and ailing human? Forget it! Not this lizard! If your human becomes ill, don't be silly and seek medical attention for them, let them die, no time to get emotional over a pet! It's much cheaper to buy another one, after all, a new healthy one can be purchased,
for about the same price, as a good bottle of dewlap oil.
It can be rewarding owning a pet human, if you have a lot of patience, and aren't expecting much. I would suggest purchasing your human from a reputable breeder, rather than a wild caught one.
Humans are poor climbers, so instead of living in trees, they chop the trees down, and make homes from chopped up trees. They prefer horizontal space, rather than vertical. It's not necessary to provide a water dish for them, because their bodies are mostly composed of water, so why give them more? Humans do well on a diet of pop tarts, potato chips, and bologna, which can be purchased at any feed and supply house.
In the wild, humans don't eat tree leaves, (very high in nutrition), instead they take dead leaves, roll them up really tight, start a fire at one end, and inhale the toxic smoke! Also, instead of getting exercise climbing trees, they make big funny tin box, to take them where they want to go. They go much too fast, and are always crashing into each other. Often after crashing, they have great big huge argument, blaming each other for the wreck. That's humans for you, big body, little brain!
Let's face it, not many of us are ready for a pet human. Their smooth skin, foul odor, and obnoxious habits, are enough to give you the jitters, and some territories won't let you keep them anyway.
In the wild, humans go to what they call, schools and universities, always trying to make their lives better, ( trying to be smart and stuff )! They only complicate matters all the more! All they really need to do is to observe us, living in trees, enjoying the sunshine, and the simple life.


I got this in a E-mail from a iguana site.I thought it was cute and wanted to share.~Sheri