7:41pm
My Kelsey
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She was young then, just a pup. Safe in the care of her mother who nuzzled her and nosed her to teat even as her brothers and sisters were also cared for. Her world was warmth and food and family. I want to think that as she got old enough, a caring family bought her and took her to a home that encompassed love.
A home that allowed her to chase balls and snuggle with humans when she was tired. A home that gave her good food and allowed her out when she needed it. A home that gave her running room and regular walks to let her sniff the calling cards of other dogs.
Did she then see the squirrels playing under trees and want to chase them? Did she know the joy of running into a lake for the fun of it? Did someone then lovingly dry her and take her home to her favorite sleep spot?
Her young history is non-existent to me. She was already over a year old when she was taken in by an older gentleman. He must have loved her and taken care of her for when she came to me from rescue she came with brushes and combs and items that denoted such.
She was already old then even as he was. His mind was no longer young and Alzheimer’s had already started to spread its insidious poison in his mind. Did she love him enough to assimilate the same?
I have tried for 11 months to reach this girl dog. Perhaps it was too late even when I brought her into my life and home. For the first time, I was able to hold and stroke her and nuzzle her after the vet gave her a shot to calm her prior to euthanasia. The prior 48 hours saw her in constant circles and hassling with breaks for only total exhaustion sleep when her legs gave out.
Was she in pain? Did we overlook something? Did I overlook something? I clutched at straws and it was still not enough. I finally am able to hold and stroke her, but she does not know for she is now finally and totally at peace. Only I am in pain.
