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11:54am

Springtime, when a young(ish) iguana's thoughts turn to...

Featuring:

Gnarla

Yaz

Yesterday I was feeling under the weather, so I left work early. However, it was the first lovely sunny day we've had in weeks, so I made sure to get Yaz outside for some rays. We both sat basking on the back patio, but since male iguanas tend to go into "season" twice a year (generally between April-June and October-December) they must be watched constantly.

Oh, do I miss Gnarla! It was so much easier (believe it or not) sunning 2 iggies together. In addition, they had their games & rituals, and while things could get frisky, Gnarla never let him have his way. (Male iguanas have such strong mating drives that they can actually GUT their partners during the act! Hey, that's what having two hemipenes will do for you, I guess...) They mostly respected each other's space & had fun dining alfresco on clover, dandelion, and, in the summer, the collards & mustards from the garden.

So there we are, Yaz & I. He comes over to investigate my leg, and I grab my camera, thinking to make a little album of "things to watch out for during iguana mating season." Sure enough, lick, lick...While I'm focussing my camera, the jaws open and clamp onto my jeans! NOT my leg...been there, done that, during my oldest ig's first season in '95 (he still lives w/ my ex-BF & is 15 now!) LUCKILY, they are stretch jeans, and he can tug the fabric away from my leg. True to form, he does NOT release his grip, and I've nothing I can splash in his face to deter him. I jerk & tug & begin walking to the house, and he finally lets go.

Hmmm...before Gnarla, he had some intense seasons, and we solved his romantic dilemma w/ a throw pillow (that we labeled "Yaz's F*** Pillow" to dissuade any hapless guests from sitting on it) and with a stuffed frog. I found the frog (the pillow had long since been retired to the trash) and tried to re-introduce him to his old "girlfriend" but after a trial lick & halfhearted bite, he decided she was history. (Those fickle men!)

Let's see, I'm wearing jeans...I went back in & found a bag of clothes ready for the Goodwill, and pulled out an old denim jumper of mine and brought it outside to His Horniness. It took him a few tries, but he eventually opened the choppers wide & got a good grasp of his new "lady." (Better it than me!) Then, of course, he had to get her "into position" which involved quite a bit of writhing around the patio with it while he did his manly business. Thus sated (for the time being) I took him indoors while I weeded the garden & pounded aspirin for the headache I left work for. When I came back inside to wash up, there was Yaz in his cage, "flashing" me on the perch nearest the door. His snack lay untouched on the top perch, because, er, apparently, there are more pressing matters to think about in June besides food!

Gnarla, I hope you are having a good laugh wherever you are...