3:02am
Adopting a new pet just after losing another
0 comments
It's probably better to wait. Kind of like remarrying soon after a spouse dies -- my brother did it, and his new wife confided to me that she's constantly trying to behave like Wife #1 so he'll be happy with her. She feels that he resents the ways she's different, so she tries to erase her own personality. That's sad! But I had the same feelings of resentment when we adopted Toby soon after Moby was run over in the street outside our house. The young woman at the animal shelter talked us into it when I was still in deep mourning for my lost dog. We took the one she was offering because my husband thought it would be good for me, and because the animal shelter keeper said he was overdue for the death chamber,that she had kept him hidden under her desk to try to save him. We took him, but I resented all the ways Toby was not Moby, even including the fact that he lacked the obnoxious faults that made Moby seem more interesting (now that he was dead). Toby was a naturally good dog and seemed bland and without personality compared to the one who-- now that he was dead-- was suddenly sainted and perfect in my eyes. Gradually, Moby's ghost faded into the woodwork and I came to appreciate and love Toby as the interesting little individual he really was, but I admit it took a about a year, possibly more. So I recommend either waiting to adopt, or if you do adopt a new pet shortly after losing one, being very patient with yourself and the pet, and doing all the things that create a good emotional bond until things finally come together for the two of you and you can appreciate the individual character of your new friend.
