Q: Will they ever be ready?
Our family's Golden Retriever, Holly, passed away just 3 weeks ago. I was devastated, and it was very sad for everyone. But I'm already wanting another dog. I feel bad about this, because she just passed, but the house is SO empty, and I love dogs.
Problem is, my parents and brother are not ready. My dad had already mentioned that we're not getting another dog, and I didn't even ask! And my mom is saddened whenever we see another dog, or see dog fur on the couch.
I feel pretty....morbid, wanting another dog while everyone is grieving. It's not like I'm not sad, or I don't miss her. I just want another dog to fill the void. But I know no dog will be the same.
So my question is; Will my family ever be ready? And, because they probably will eventually; Do you have any idea how soon?
Jul 08, 2008
Everyone mourns differently. If your parents and brother say they aren't ready for another dog, then they just aren't ready. In the meantime is there a friend with a dog you can spend time with, or better yet volunteer at a local dog shelter? That way it gives your family time to mourn and you can fill the void that you have.
My family dog passed away in early 2002, and my parents have not had another dog since. My father is a HUGE dog person, but I think he's just afraid to get so attached to another animal again, therefore dogs are banned from my parents house. Of course now that I'm married and have moved out I got two of my own right away, and they visit my parents ALL THE TIME. My dad asks me to bring them over any chance I get and they offer to dog sit even if I'll only be gone for a day. But I guess he just still isn't ready to have his own dog yet, you should hear the silly excuses he comes up with :)
I guess what I'm trying to say is that everyone deals with it differently, and some take longer than others. I know you said you didn't bring it up, but maybe at this point just the thought of bringing another dog into the household "so soon" after her death may make your family feel like they are disrespecting your family dog.
So just give them some time, and later on down the road maybe casually bring it up in conversation. Or if you start volunteering at a local shelter maybe you can start fostering. My dad was ok with fostering since he knew that it wasn't permanent and he wouldn't get attached. Not that he wouldn't LOVE the dogs and play like crazy with them, but again I just think he's afraid of becoming too attached to another dog again. When our dog Perdy passed away, it really hit us all very hard.
Good luck, and your family will be in my prayers!!!
Thumbs Up: 2 |
Jul 08, 2008
Please be patient and give your family time to heal. We lost our Duncan back in November and my husband is still hurting. It'll take time, but let your family mourn for now. You'll ALL know when the time is right to allow another to join the family.
Thumbs Up: 1 |
Jul 08, 2008
I lost my dog Otis in January of this year. It was supper hard to deal with. The whole family was devastated. My husband and I could not stand the empty house either and so I pressed him to get another dog and he was not ready. Hoewever, I went to the spca and was sucessful in finding another to complete the family. It was only a month after losing our Otis and I must say It did feel to soon to have another dog. Everything Molly did was a constant reminder of what Otis did, and it hurt more I think. My son who was 3 then did not want much to do with her, yet my daughter was loving the idea and well, my husband could not deny that beautiful face of hers so...long story shorter, our new dog Molly has helped him to feel better about our loss.I think she helped us all heal actualy, after adjusting to her. and I dont regret getting her. everyone takes their own pace at healing, give them some time and the will come around.
I am terribly sorry to hear of your loss.
Thumbs Up: 1 |
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