Flag

Q: To SOON?

June 12, 2008 | By Grambodei | 15 answers | Expired: 2222 days ago

To SOON?

It has been 9 days now since I lost my Copper. It hurts today as bad as it did 9 days ago. Everybody's all over me telling me to get over it and get another little buddy and move on. Copper and I were together like I said 24 7's for 5,203 days and it is so hard to let him go. I never want to shove him to the back of my mind. Alot of you have been thru this, how did you folks move on? Do I need professional help? Do I get another pal? How long did some of you wait and when did you figure out what to do and when? All I know is that I am just lost without him. Is it wise to bring another little guy or gal into my life this soon? Any of your ideas would be more than welcome.
Thank all of you. George

Readers' Answers (15)

1 | 2 |

  • Sort by:
  • Latest |
  • Rank
Christine
Flag

Jun 20, 2008

I think everyone grieves in their own way and has their own timing, everyone is different. Just remember that whenever you get a new pet, never expect them to replace the one lost, they will have their own personalities and ways, and need to be loved for that. I say that because my beloved cat died last year, and I was so distraught and sad that I got another one less than a month later. Well I kept expecting her (without even realizing it at first) to do the same things my deceased cat did, it was a bit hard because I was still grieving, but I will have to say that she did help, gave me something to look forward to as my house didn't feel so empty anymore, and I started accepting her as her own kitty. Now we are super bonded and she is awesome! Good luck and I'm sorry for the loss of your pet, it's so hard. You heal but you will always miss them.

Thumbs Up: 1 | Thumbs up!

CHAT
Flag

Jun 17, 2008

First — If you have to ask, you are not ready. When you can say yes inside your heart, YOU ARE READY! Personally, I have adopted a new animal as soon as the next day (and that was a very healing experience because this cat was slated for euthanasia that afternoon) to waiting for over a year. Losing an animal companion also can reflect other losses in your life that you haven't attended too, thus magnifying the loss. I still sniffle at commercials when I see cats, dogs or horses that remind me of one of our family that has passed on. The pain will soften, but not go away. Be gentle with yourself.

Thumbs Up: 1 | Thumbs up!

Jessica H.
Flag

Jun 16, 2008

Everybody is different. I know friends and family are trying to help, but sometimes rushing into adopting another puppy is NOT the best course of action for you. Only you know when you are finished grieving and only you know when the time is right. What you are feeling is perfectly normal! You certainly do not need professional help.

Thumbs Up: 1 | Thumbs up!

Martha M.
Flag

Jun 14, 2008

I just have to say, this is perfectly normal. Our pets are more than pets... they are friends/family. When we experience a loss, it's so very hard to let go. You don't want to. I was sitting at home last night tearing up over the cats that I have lost. I miss them all so very much but they wouldn't want me to close my heart off. They'd want me to move on but remember the good times we had together. Get another pet. It would give you another friend and a way to express your love again. Your pet that passed would love you to share the love he/she experienced with you. I have a suggestion, create a scrap book of your lost friend. That might help to. Know that you are not alone in feeling this way. I miss my friends so much every moment of everyday... just don't forget, others need your love too. I hope you get a new pet. If you do, share it here... cause I'd love to know you found a friend to help you cope and to share your love with. Good luck.

Thumbs Up: 1 | Thumbs up!

Criscil
Flag

Jun 14, 2008

I have been very lucky that most of my pets led long, healthy lives but still I have gone through the loss of a pet several times, George, and will be going through it again this year as my 12-year-old Pup is dealing with cancer right now. Each time I have said, "No more; I can't deal with this again" but, as my friends and family members have said many times, the animals find me. You see, I have never really went out purposely to find that special companion. They just seem to come into my life at any given time and won my heart. It is at that moment I know I am ready. As others have stated, there is no time limit; it is an individual process each time. Some people do need grieve counseling, others do not. Listen to your feelings, George, and you'll know when you are ready.

Thumbs Up: 1 | Thumbs up!

Angela42012
Flag

Jun 13, 2008

All I know is what we went through a few years back. My mom had a silky terrier that she got one year for Christmas. Rudy was her name. She was so small when my mom got her she could fit in the palm of her hand. When Rudy died she was 15 years old. It devisteted my mom. She was a big part of our family. Her friend suggested a few days later that she get a new dog. They went to a few Humane Societys and she ended up buying a new dog. Her name is Lizzy. When mom brought her home, she wanted nothing to do with her. She was cold and not really mean to her, but wanted nothing to do with her. This actually went on for a few months. I was ready to take Lizzy home with me because it was very clear to me that mom had not gotten over the death of Rudy yet and she was not ready for a new friend. We sat and talked about it for a while and I convinced her to at least try with Lizzy, because she was the one that picked her and all. In the end it worked out very well. But my advice to you would be to go through the grieving process and take your time. You will know when it is time for a new friend. Do not rush it because if you are not ready it is not fair to your new pet.
Lizzy is now a big part of my moms life. She has had her for about 2 or 3 years now. But She is still more my dog than my moms. The only reason being is that I could give her the attention she needed when my mom could not.

Thumbs Up: 1 | Thumbs up!

Lyn C.
Flag

Jun 13, 2008

No one can tell you when you should find another fuzz-buddy!! You have to be ready. If you get one too soon, you may expect them to be as ______ (fill in the blank with the appropriate word, like calm, loving, huggable, playful, or your favorite attribute)as Copper was. You might find yourself expecting that of this new animal who unsuspectingly just wants to be him/herself with you. This will only make you hurt and miss Copper more. Take some time to yourself, for you and Copper. This baby meant a lot to you. Marinate in the goodness. There will be days that your heart breaks all over again for years to come, no matter how many "new" pets you get. Cheezy as it sounds, follow your heart.
And my sincere sympathies on your loss.

Thumbs Up: 1 | Thumbs up!

Anonymous
Flag
Anonymous

Jun 13, 2008

George, You have taken a large step in healing just by writing this question. I am so sorry for the loss of your loved one. I lost a cat over 12 years ago and I still tear up when I think of him. I feel if we love a "pet" its as much love as we have for a human. We grieve as we do for humans. Which in a way shows honour to your beloved pet. Pet people are a different breed. We look at them as our companions,family&friends due to the unconditional love they give us. You will know when its time and what to do.You loved Copper and no doubt he loved you. As with any death one never gets over it. Pain seems to ease with time. Try to think of the good times as it may help. I wish you the best and will keep good thoughts your way.

Thumbs Up: 3 | Thumbs up!

MaxxieBrown
Flag

Jun 13, 2008

First-you will never "get over it" but you will survive. When I lost my dog, I said I would never go through the pain of losing a pet again. But that would mean I would never feel the joy to rescue another animal either. It took me a month of crying myself to sleep alone to know that I had to have the warmth of another dog in my bad. It's kind of funny that I would rather have a dog in my bed rather then a man. But I do. I have a table next to my love seat of Max with a wooden calendar of the date he past away. It's my little shrine to him. I still cry when I think about him and I always will, even though that was in 2005. There will never be another Max, even though my now dog is Max. You need to read Max's journal to understand why I would have another Max.

Thumbs Up: 1 | Thumbs up!

Jill R.
Flag

Jun 13, 2008

George,

I am very sorry for your loss. You are going through a horrible time and we can all understand how you feel. There is no recipe to how one heals, some people take a little longer and that's completely normal. I would recommend that you try speaking to someone at a Pet Loss Hotline, they can definitely give you the support you need.

www.vetmed.ucdavis.edu/ccah/petloss.cfm
www.vet.cornell.edu/Org/PetLoss/

Thumbs Up: 3 | Thumbs up!

1 | 2 |

You might also enjoy:

Got a question about your pet? Get the answers you need from Zootoo's community of pet experts and owners.

Advertisement

Advertisement