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Q: How do you foster and then adopt? I am a complete foster failure.

October 26, 2008 | By VKiggins | 13 answers | Expired: 2121 days ago

VKiggins

Once again I have kept (with my daughter's help) 3 out of the 4 kittens we bottle fed this summer. The 4th went to my neighbor's house. I just can't let go of my attachment. Anyone else out there with the same issues?

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Kelly
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Nov 09, 2008

There's always an attachment & I have to admit that I've kept a few of mine, usually those with special needs. There are always tears. By the time I return to my car from delivering one of my babies to their new furever home I'm a basketcase. I always have a fresh box of tissues & my husband always has to drive because I'm too busy crying. That being said, I still do it. If I keep them all I will not have room for the next one in need & I could be the only hope it has of living. I couldn't bear to think that I allowed my personal feelings to cause another life not to be saved. I know in my heart that my furbabies are going to be loved & cared for & that they will not miss me as much as I miss them. I have to make room for the next one; that is what I do. I may do a couple of follow-up calls or emails to make sure everything is working out & that the new family is happy since that is the main thing, that these babies are happy & cared for. And then I move on to the next one in need, either one I rescue myself or one that I'm contacted about that is in danger. Its painful, but there's a greater good & we just have to learn that the pain is ours to deal with, but there's also so much joy is seeing a new family & knowing an animal is safe & loved & that you have room to save another one.

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Emily M.
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Nov 03, 2008

I am a foster failure. We fostered my third dog from a rescue to help socialize him. He was in bad shape, came from a high kill shelter and was sick and malnourished with pneumonia, giardia, coccidia, and worms. They nursed him back to health but he still had no social skills with humans. He was confiscated when his owners were arrested. They think he was maybe a backyard breeder dog kept in the cage most of his life. We decided we would foster him to help socialize him with the help of our two dogs, and put some weight him up. He bonded with them instantly and over the first month made quite a bit of progress, but still was nowhere near ready to be passed off to a new home. He's a special circumstance because even 4 months later, he still isn't totally socialized with people or would have been ready for a new home. For his sake, we failed as fosters and he'll be in our home forever. I don't think we'll foster again, but we volunteer at our animal shelter and do what we can to help those animals.

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Heather
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Oct 31, 2008

Many foster homes end of keeping the pets they foster. In a way I think shelters home for that to happen. It means people have a chance to really decide they want to keep the animal - and they won't come back. I have fostered many, and kept zero. I feel that my attitude is the reason, that fosters are not mine, and they will find a home that really wants them (where I am just offering the care needed to get them to the point of adoption). I have really loved the animals we have fostered, but i just never let myself get attached like you would with an owned pet. The emotional attachment I have with my own pets is much different than with those I have fostered.
Some people can do this, and some can't - those that can't differentiate adopt! Just remember, there's nothing wrong with that :)

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Carolmonj
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Oct 30, 2008

After fostering over 170 young pups I can answer this one....A few tears are shed as each pup leaves but the reward of a happy family and saving a pups life is well worth the tears. I never mix my fosters with my own dogs as that adds additional emotion to the package.

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Jessica P.
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Oct 29, 2008

I always began with either adoptiong OR fostering in mind....If there was a pet I was interested in as a forever pet, I would adopt right away. But when I fostered I did not choose the pet, and luckily for me I ended up with animals that I could see were not a perfect match for me, though I did love them. I think keeping in touch with the shelter and placement staff, going to adoption events with the fosters and always trying to "sell" your foster to the perfect home when out and about helps with the emotions of the "not really our dog" part. Also, knowing that a animal that goes to home with fewer pets probably will get more attention and resources than a house full of past "fosters". It's tough but worth it.

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Wendy W.
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Oct 29, 2008

I am of no help, because I too am a failed foster! But those whom I know that have successfully fostered then adopted go through the wide spectrum of emotion. First terrible sadness that the animal has left their company and eventually being so happy that such a wonderful adoption happened because of them. Seeing the animal thrive with the adopters and seeing how the animal has made the adopter's life rewarding is worth the emotional battle of fostering (or so I'm told)! Good luck!!!!

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Kavykeeper
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Oct 28, 2008

Yes, yes, yes!!!! I 2 adopted fosters that I really bonded with. One was a male guinea pig (found in a dumpster) that hit it off with one of my males and the other was part of a litter from a shelter I did at pick up at. I did quite a bit of fostering but found it was really hard to give them up. Luckily, many of the people who adopted kept in touch and sent me photos, etc., but not knowing how the others fared, was difficult. I prefer to do adoptions and drive to move guinea pigs when needed instead. But, I know that the foster homes are really needed to have any rescue be a success. I think fostering is ideal for someone who doesn't want to commit to a pet for life but loves animals and can devote months at a time to care for them.

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DebbieAABR
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Oct 27, 2008

I have my first foster now, so I'm trying to think of it as just taking good care of him until his real family shows up. Hopefully that'll work.

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Brian K.
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Oct 27, 2008

We've certainly kept our share of fosters. But like a couple others said, I think the trick is knowing from the beginning that they aren't staying. Love them and socialize them so they're great companion animals, and then let them find their forever home.

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Cindy
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Oct 26, 2008

I've fostered two sets of kittens now for the Dubuque Regional Humane Society, in addiition to a German Shepherd that needed some healing time for a head wound before being placed up for adoption.

I was tempted to keep the shepherd, but this dog had a bit of separation anxiety and really needed somemone who could be home with him during the day. I was happy the dog did go to a family with a stay-at-home mom and kids.

As far as the kittens go, it is hard to give them up, but I realize I can't keep them. I already have a cat and dog. If my situation changes so that I can have another dog or cat some day, great, but my living situaiton dictates that I can't have anymore right now.

I feel like I've done my best for them to give them a good start in life and hopefully they get adopted to people who will continue to take good care of them. Saying goodbye is the hardest. But I just have to give them one last kiss and walk away, knowing I've done all I can do.

There are a few dogs from time to time I see at the humane society I'd take home in a heartbeat if I could have a second dog. There are many wonderful cats as well, and a few I've taken a personal liking to, but I know the dogs better.

I've gotten so I don't ask very often whether they got adopted anymore, because we are o short on space, and I on't want to know if they've been euthanized -- so I just do my small part and leave it at that.

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