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Q: How Do I cope with this?

November 8, 2011 | By Ches21 | 5 answers | Expired: 879 days ago

Ches21

I have lost pets in the past but have never went in to have a pet put down when my border collie mix Chelsea was put down I wasn't aloud to go along cause I was too young and would not of understood what was going on when my cat Scronny passed away I didn't see her cause she went and hid under a bed and died when my cat Ipea passed away he did the same thing as Scronny and I found him but we did not take him and scronny in they passed away on their own and we had a small funeral for them. Biff got ran over by a car and I never saw him after that Lady got hit by a too and I never saw her after that either. I saw our hamsters biff knocked the cage down and killed all four of them and I saw Feisty, Visous, Ding-dong and Kiss all four sisters in the kitchen dead and I balled for days after that and I couldn't eat or sleep and it was really hard to get mad at Biff and stay mad at him cause he was a cat an alley cat and he always hunted the rats and mice in the garage and attic and left them in front of the house and then I had to go bury them in the yard and give them names. But no one understood why I was so upset for so long over four hamsters. I don't know how to cope with this Teddy has to be taken in to be put down soon cause her hips are going out and I am going to take her but I have never had to cope with this before so I wanted to know if anyone knew how I could cope with this event, also I have written peoms songs and stories before when I was unable to cry and that helped could I do that? I even cried when I lost Playful he had to be putdown and he was a koi fish. Can anyone help?

Readers' Answers (5)
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Sharon
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Nov 09, 2011

Ches21, I am so sorry as to what you are about to face
with your decision of Teddy. One of the toughest things
in life is losing one of our animal friends. But I will say
when the time came I was with my little feline friend to
the end. When I left the vets office I said to myself, I will
NEVER do this again. It's too devastating. But when I gave
it more thought, I was only thinking about myself and my
feelings at the time. Not the one who was leaving this earth.
Would I be there for anyone of my pets facing this situation
in the future. You are DAMN right I would. Excuse my French.

Thumbs Up: 3 | Thumbs up!

lynn m.
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Nov 09, 2011

First I want to say how very sorry I am to hear about what you are going thru. I have had to deal with that decision several times and it is never, ever easy. But I truly believe that when we make the decision it is theist act of love that we can give to our precious baby. Now, after saying this I have mo words of wisdom regarding how to get thru this - the really is no way around the pain. But know that so many of us completely understand your pain - you are not alone. Keep talking about it, keep writing about it. We are here for you

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daryl b.
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Nov 09, 2011

when i have to do that i go in the room with them and stroke them untill they are gone. at least they know they were not alone. i had a very strange experience while doing this once. but if you want to know you can message me. i am so sorry but know that they will never have to suffer again ever

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Jillian
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Nov 09, 2011

Having an animal put down, and especially being in the room when it's down, is nothing short of devastating. B/c you'll be in there for Teddy's comfort, and not your own, try to stay composed. It's over so fast and then you can cry, but until that point you can try to think about something else. That's what I do, at least. It never works entirely, but seems better than upsetting the animal by going into hysterics.

To cope with the loss, turn to your other animals and the strays. In times of grief there's not a thing a person can do for you, but for some reason having a cat on your lap or a dog by your side is comforting. Writing helps in the way that it allows you to express those feelings, so keep up with that as you're feeling it.

That's about the best I can say though. Animals are miracle workers. In a couple of weeks the edges will start to soften, but remember that there's nothing saying you have to really cope with it either. Grieving is natural and healthy, so just make sure that however you choose, don't stifle those feelings in search of comfort. W/o the grieving, you can never really heal from the loss.

I'm very sorry to hear about Teddy. It's always so hard to accept that animals never live as long as us, but Teddy will be better going peacefully than having her hips completely give out. Give her a big hug from me and I hope you find your comfort.

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Kelly
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Nov 08, 2011

It's not easy and at the same time it is, if you understand what I mean. When your pet is suffering, it's one of the kindest thing you can do...kind of the last selfless act of love you'll do for your pet. You hang onto that and you focus on your pet, comforting them, loving them, and saying your goodbyes. It's painful but when I had to do it, there was some sense of relief too because I knew my baby wasn't suffering any longer. She was ready and when I looked in her eyes, I knew that. It's almost like she was giving me permission to take her to her last vet visit. It's never easy to lose a pet, but you just have to know in your heart that you did the best and right thing for them. When it happens, they just go to sleep very peacefully. You can almost see the pain leaving them. It's sad, it hurts, but it's so peaceful for them that it helps you get through it. Just make sure that there isn't anything else that can be done, because you'll ask yourself if you did the right thing or if you acted too quickly. Know those answers ahead of time, so you have no doubts. You'll grieve, but you'll also know your pet isn't suffering any longer and that will be some comfort. We all grieve and cry when we lose our pets. That means we did it right...we loved them like family. You can't lose those you love without going through the grieving process. If and when the time comes, you'll step up to the plate and put your feelings aside for Teddy. All your focus will be on her and making her last moments count. There are no magic words or rules to help you cope. You just do. The first day sucks and is the worst day of your life, the second day isn't much better, but eventually, you'll find that each day is a little brighter. You'll eventually get to that day where you can talk or think about her without crying. Your heart will always ache a little, but it gets better. In the meantime, do what feels like it helps...write, talk to someone, draw, paint, punch a pillow. I went for walks...very long walks all by myself for days afterwards. There's no right or wrong way to grieve.

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